27 Things Portuguese immigrants relate to

Being a Portuguese immigrant myself, I thought it would be appropriate to write a short list of things that make me unique to the different cultures around me. To those of a Portuguese background or family I hope you can relate and laugh a little to the list below the same way I did. So without further a do, here are 27 things all or most Portuguese immigrants can relate to;

1. Everyone always tells you to stop yelling when your actually just talking normally.

2. When speaking to family you never really know which language your speaking. When you open your mouth a little bit of both come out at once. You'll have a half English, half Portuguese sentence.

3. You know something bad is going to happen when your mother calls you by both your first names, no matter the situation.

4. Your grandparents give you money for no reason.

5. Algarve is something you'll hear more about from English tourists rather than any of the actual Portuguese people who lived there.

6. The pet rabbit you named "Fluffy" on Monday becomes dinner on Wednesday.

7. You start running when you see a wooden spoon.

8. You have salad with every meal.

9. You have cod fish for Christmas Eve every year #traditions .

(Side note: "Bacalhau com Natas" (Cod and Cream) is in my opinion something everyone should taste at least once in their life!)

10. Your Grandma decorates the house with fine china and cockerels, probably a few Saints and mother Mary statues as well.

11. You've ducked from a flying shoe at least once in your lifetime.

12. Nothing beats a buttered "papo-seco".

13. You have more than 10 cousins.

14. You refer to Portugal as "O continent" (The mainland).

15. Your parents own several houses in Portugal but complain about how poor they are in England...

16. Your grandma always wears black... always!

17. All your jokes start with "A Chinese, an Englishman and a Portuguese..."

18. One of your aunties or uncles either cleans or gardens for a living.

19. World Cup and Euro-vision; "We will win this year!"

20. You open your freezer and all you see is "Bacalhau" (cod fish).

21. Only the women in your family have curfews.

22. You have at least 3 male family members called José, or João.

23. You have at least 3 Marias in your family.

24. Your grandma complains that your too skinny so she feeds you tons of food.

25. Your grandma complains your too fat but STILL feeds you a ton of food.

26. You NEVER reeeeally understand some of the sayings, for example;

• "Estou feito ao beife!" (Translation: "I'm done to the beef!" Meaning: you have a problem.)

• "Onde Judas perdeu as botas." (Translation: "Go to where Judas lost his boots." Meaning: Somewhere far away in the middle of nowhere.)

• "Vai pentear macacos." (Translation: "Go comb some monkeys." Meaning: Piss off!)

(Note: To be honest, when it comes to number 26, not even those who live in Portugal understand what most of the sayings mean.)

And lastly,

27. When you return to Portugal you waste way too much money on deserts and pastries, ESPECIALLY, "Pasteis de Nata" (Custard Tarts).

(Note: In my opinion, no country IN THE WORLD, makes better deserts than Portugal. And I'm about 75% all other Portuguese people will back me up on this.)