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When life sucks...

  • Writer: Natacha Martins
    Natacha Martins
  • Jul 7, 2013
  • 8 min read

Updated: Feb 10, 2021


Ages ago I was reading one of my favorite books "The spooks!" and I came across this sentence, it read; "why does life have to be so short, with all the good things passing quickly. Is it worth living at all." This short sentence, really hit me. I have never really been very good at explaining how I feel, or have struggled to understand how I feel, and when I had read this phrase, a light bulb flashed and I felt like the book had just spoken my mind for me. Half a year later I realize just how depressing that sentence sounded... I now believe that happiness is a choice. Whether you believe it or not, only YOU are responsible for how YOU feel, how YOU act, and what YOU contribute to the world. Instead of thinking about what you're missing, try thinking about what you have that others are missing. Mahatma Gandhi once said "A man is but the product of his thoughts, what he thinks he becomes." Positive thoughts and positive actions often lead to a positive life. By changing the way you think, it changes the way you feel. The way you feel then changes the way you act; If you're having a rough day, see the positive side of your life and smile, this will no doubt change your attitude. You don't have to have certain things happen in order to start feeling better about your life, you just need to focus on the right things. The rest of your life is being shaped right now. With the dreams you chase, the choices you make, and the person you decide to be. If you decide to be positive, then your life will have positive outcomes. I realize that its hard to stay positive all the time. People always say "Just give it time" but sometimes "time" isn't enough, don't just sit around and wait for happiness, go find it!


Something I don't understand is why people talk about moving mountains as though it was no big deal, do they not understand that they gain more from climbing it than moving it! God put that mountain there for a reason, we face trials because they are necessary to help us grow and become better, if there were no trials there would be no point to this life. If life were easy it wouldn't be hard. They say that "you have to walk through the valley to appreciate the beauty of the mountain" but sometimes, you have to climb the mountain, in order to appreciate the beauty of the valley. Trials are there to build us up and make us stronger, teach us lessons that we need to be taught, if there were no trials, there would be no point to this life, the trials we face make us appreciate our blessings even more! Sometimes the things you can’t change end up changing you, that's not meant to be understood, but to be accepted. Do not try to analyse everything that happens in life. Some things just happen for a reason, when you are ready to know the reason, life will then reveal it to you!


As you may or may not know I am a strongly religious person, and I genuinely believe that good endings come from prayerful beginnings. "When life knocks you down, you are in the perfect position to pray!" Having God in my life is a necessity..... I am human, he has helped me get through things that I strongly believed would have destroyed me. He NEVER gives us anything we cant handle, and he NEVER makes us go through it alone!


When I was 12, I was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome, thinking I was retarded, every time something went wrong socially I resorted to self harm. Shortly after one of my grandfathers was diagnosed with cancer, and then the other diagnosed with Alzheimer. Shortly after this my Auntie was rushed to hospital due to heart attacks and heart failure. People tend to say "Its when the hardest hits, that you must not quit!" I was beginning to prepare myself for the worst, not knowing that the worst was an understatement from what was about to happen. On the 2nd of August 2008, my parents, with tears in their eyes sat me and my brothers down in the living room. Me, at the time being 14 and never before having seen my father cry, I had realized it was serious. My mother breathed in a gulp of air, then let it out whilst another tear slowly glided down her face. She began, stuttering "Someone we love very much has, passed, away..." Tears started to form in my eyes, "Oh no! Auntie, Granddad!" Not even..... The last thing I remember hearing was "Kevin...", In utter shock from the words that had just come out of my mothers mouth, I fell off the couch and onto my knees and I began the mourning of my brother! Screaming out "NO!" and "God, anybody but him!" and "Oh GOD! Why?!" He had passed away in a car crash. Not only because of the shock but the loss also, It had left me emotionless and struggling with my Heavenly Father, not because I no longer believed he was there, I have never had that problem. I just became extremely, extremely angry at him, for first, taking away my brother, and second for not having let me prepare! Shortly after on my birthday my Auntie also passed away. But then, on the plus side, my Granddad fought cancer, and slowly became strong again, but it didn't remain a plus for much longer. My dad had an accident at work leaving him with bulging discs in his back, causing him a lot of pain. My mum was also having health issues at that time, suffering from something called Hyper mobility and Meniere's Syndrome, leaving her bed bound for at least a year or so. I was faced with many problems in my life, there are other things that have happened that I don't even have the guts to tell, not to mention the other little things that were occurring amiss between these. But every, single, time. I somehow found the courage to get down on my knees and ask God for strength, guidance, and help, no matter how angry or upset I was with him, I felt like that was what I needed to do! Because he brought me to it, he can bring me through it! In my short life I have; lived, loved, lost, missed, hurt, trusted, made mistakes, but most of all I have LEARNED. I hope that you understand how difficult it is for me to share this, and I don't want any one to feel sorry for me. And If you think that my hands are full..... you should see my heart! I am wiser because of my mistakes, I know happiness because I have known pain, and I am stronger because I have struggled! The point is that I know its hard, if you're someone who recently lost someone to death, I'm sorry! And unlike everybody else I'm not going to tell you that its going to be okay, because once you loose someone the pain will always be, and it's going to get harder and harder due to the fact that your going to start missing them more and more. It's not easy and it's a hard thing to hear, buts it's what I wish someone had told me from the start, I hate it when people are like "it's ok, its going to be ok" I mean, I know they meant well. But it wasn't the truth, what you need at that time is the truth. And although it won't be ok, it will get easier! And I know its easier said than done, but, I PROMISE TO YOU ALL that their IS a light at the end of the tunnel, sometimes it may seem like a train, but we have everything in our power to move that train and make it out.


I am reminded constantly that we are all children of Heavenly Father..... he is, a GOD! Do you have ANY idea what that means? It means, we have endless amounts of power and abilities; POWER to do what is good, POWER to take control of our lives, POWER to choose to be happy, POWER to gain knowledge, POWER to become better, and the POWER to deal with what God has dealt us. He not only carries us through it, he gave us the potential to fly over it! As children of God, we are greater than anything that could ever happen to us.


When one door closes, another door opens but sometimes we tend to get stuck in the hallway; we must remember to keep looking forward. Use your past like you do a cars rear view mirror. Glance back occasionally; if you stare too long you'll crash. So keep your eyes on the road ahead of you! Life is to short for you to waste time looking back, you've already seen it once before, just be positive and be ready for opportunities. But keep in mind that even though you may not be looking back its necessary for us as human beings to remember what we've been through as we walk through each door ahead of us, cause you need to know where you've been to know where you're going. Your past trials made you stronger, and it made you who you are today. But, they do not define you, what defines you is how you choose to overcome them. We are forever evolving, changing, growing! We are not the same people we were last year or the year before that. When the sun rises, it rises for everyone. "An obstacle is often an unrecognized opportunity" (Robert South). Sometimes when you feel like things are falling apart, they may actually be finally falling into place!


When things go wrong and obstacles get in your way, change your direction to reach your goal, not your decision to get there. Once you set your mind in the right direction, your life will begin to follow your thoughts. What has happened is not nearly as important as what CAN happen. History has demonstrated time and time again, that the most notable winners usually encountered heartbreaking obstacles before they triumphed. They won because they refused to become discouraged by their defeats. "The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible."


Believe it or not one day our generation will be the ones ruling the population; Most of us will never do great things, not because you cant, but because you choose not to, but, either way you can still do small things in a great way. If I can have the tiniest positive affect on someone's day then my goal is complete! Wishing everyone peace, love and happiness is the best way to live, "there is nothing more beautiful than a smile that has struggled through a million tears." (Demi Lovato) Learn from the experiences that you go through, enjoy the happy moments that you have been blessed with, and look to the possibilities of your future and everything that you could become. We all struggle, and we all hurt. It's all about crawling when you struggle to walk, but remembering to stand up once you've stumbled. And once your up, run! Or even better, Fly! Cause why settle for anything less, when you're perfectly capable of being the best!






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